Skip to main content

Manufacturer's Recall Notice

"Regardless of Make or Year ... all units ... are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units ... "
off an email

Regardless of Make or Year or Tithe Amount, all units known as "human beings" are being recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named "Adam" and "Eve," resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect is technically termed "Serious Internal Non-morality," but more commonly known as "SIN".

Symptoms of the SIN defect include, but are not limited to:

A) Loss of direction
B) Lack of peace and joy
C) Depression
D) Foul vocal emissions
E) Selfishness
F) Ingratitude
G) Fearfulness
H) Rebellion
I) Jealousy

The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service FREE of charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus Christ, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.

To repeat... There is no fee required. It is FREE.

The number to call for repair in all areas is P-R-A-Y-E-R once connected, please upload the burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Christ, into the SOUL component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Christ will replace it with:

A) Love
B) Joy
C) Peace
D) Kindness
E) Goodness
F) Faithfulness
G) Gentleness
H) Patience
I) Self-Control
J) Everything He Has Is Yours

Please see the Operating Manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, THE HOLY SPIRIT. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and accept his Word and He will take up residence on the premises.

WARNING: Continuing to operate a human being unit without these corrections voids the Manufacturer's Warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and may ultimately result in the destruction of the human unit.

kuancheen|kuala.lumpur|20060728.1120
















Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Personality Test - Mixing Pot

Note: Now works with Firefox® 1.5 and (hopefully) above In each of then following rows of four words across, click the one word that most often apply to you. Continue through all forty lines. If you are not sure which word 'most applies', ask a spouse or a friend, and think of what your answer would have been when you were a child - your natural personality. You can skip a line if you are really not sure. P.S. Do share your results in the comment section, mine is there. ^^ Strengths 1 Adventurous Adaptable Animated Analytical 2 Persistent Playful Persuasive Peaceful 3 Submissive Self-sacrificing Sociable Strong-willed 4 Considerate Controlled Competitive Convincing 5 Refreshing Respectful Reserved Resourceful   6 Satisfied Sensitive Self-reliant Spirited 7 Planner Patient Positive Promoter 8 Sure Spontaneous Scheduled Shy 9 Orderly Obliging Outspoken Optimistic 10 Friendly Faithful Funny Forceful   11 Daring Delightful Diplo

Is CHRISTianity a Hobby?

" What being a Christian means to you? Is Christianity just another hobby or a past time, something to do on Sundays and a social gathering to meet friends and a group to feel belonged to that you feel good about? &nbsp" fm103.2 This was aired sometimes back in October 2004 on FM103.2: The Heart of Sydney . I caught it when I was on an assignment there. I shared it with my church's youth and young adults and decided to paste it here. Hope you all will be blessed by it as much as it has blessed me. Do feel free to share it with you friends. For most of us, the first point is kinda obvious, but do read on the next four points. How do you fare in the test? kuancheen|munich|20050817.0005 What being a Christian means to you? Is Christianity just another hobby or a past time, something to do on Sundays and a social gathering to meet friends and a group to feel belonged to that you feel good about? Being a Christian it’s a lot more than just that, the reality is that being a

The Friendship Factor

" First impressions are vitally important. Within 11 minutes of entering a building, people generally decide if they will ever come back again. That means we have 11 minutes to sweep them off their feet! &nbsp" www.battlecry.com Following is an article published on www.battlecry.com which stresses the importance of first impression in today's youth ministry. Today, people make that assessment the minute they stepped into the church ground even before entering the doors. In my own personal experience, when I am church visiting on my travels, the most important thing to me is how friendly a church is. How quick the church members notice you and how they welcome the visitors. These receptions varies from the extreme end of you-seems-to-be-a-shadow-that-no-one-noticed to overwhelming you-are-greeted-by-everyone-and-announced-to-the-whole-church responses, but nothing like a friendly smile and a genuine greeting of "Hi, welcome to our church", being shown to y